The swallow of darkness
Grotesquely gorging on your good spirit like a rabid animal
Spitting out your zest for life effortlessly like that tooth you chipped when you were seven
You remember when you were seven, right?
That was when you learned how to tread water
It went something like this, keep moving, hurry up or you will sink to the bottom
So you learned to tread water
Don’t confuse it with floating, you learned that when you were around ten
I believe they yelled at you to lay on your back, relax and breathe or else you will sink to the bottom
So you learned to float
Sink or swim, do or die, don’t ask, just do
That is how is was
That is how it is
I remember that day when you did actually sink to the bottom, looking up through the clear waters at all the people who didn’t notice
Just a little person who was left alone but it came with such clarity
There was something peaceful about it, oddly assuring finally knowing how alone you were
Quiet and serene, finally something so calm and safe
You didn’t feel the panic of treading water or floating any longer
A funny little moment in time where it all stood still
Just you looking up from the bottom
As the swallow of darkness arrives, gorging as it does
Just like that day you sank and how you didn’t see it coming
You are reminded of those who didn’t notice you at the bottom, who never saw you sink
Maybe they never really cared if you did?
The same ones who gave ill advice on how to tread water and float
Funny
As all you ever really needed to know was that you were the only one who could feel what it was like to sit at the bottom
And
It is only you
Who gracefully knew how to rise back up to the top
~Alisa Hutton
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